Saturday, 12 January 2019

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone



2019 is the year of being uncomfortable. It is the year of pushing your boundaries and really showing yourself what you are capable of. If, like myself, you left 2018 feeling like your life had become stagnant and the repetitions of your daily routine left you feeling safe and uninspired then you need to flip the switch. 

For as long as i can remember my life has been ruled by my emotions and their inability to push further than what's in my grasp. I think it got to a stage where i was so used to just grabbing what was within arms reach that i never felt the need to branch out beyond that grasp to see what was waiting for me beyond it. Well until now anyway...





As i've mentioned in my other posts this January, 2018 really was a turning point for me and a literal lightning bulb went off inside my head- telling me that it was time to flip the switch and reach for further than what i could see. I've always been that person that has wanted to try new things, until a few days before when my anxiety takes over and i end up cancelling plans, or the person who gets a lump in her throat when she walks into a shop/restaurant on her own and ends up getting so nervous that i start sweating. The biggest one for me is that i often come across as really unapproachable to people because in reality i am just too scared to pick up a conversation with people i don't know. 

In turn, i spent the second half of 2018 trying to change these habits and just to become uncomfortable and learn to adapt. Have you ever heard the saying, 'have dreams so big they make you feel uncomfortable?' yeah... i wanted that. 



So 2019 is me refining what i've already learnt in 2018 and to reinforce these behaviours and also to show you lovely guys the small steps i'm taking that you can easily fit into your daily life. Lets see how many of these steps you can take and let me know if they work for you! 





 Ask for a project at work that you’re not 100% sure you can do


A weird one i know but trust me this is the best step to push yourself at work. Sometimes we find it too easy to just come in, do our work and go home and if a project comes up we often talk ourselves out of it on the premise that 'someone else will be able to do it much better.' 2019 means we need to realise that we are fully capable of taking on that extra project and that by pushing ourselves we are putting ourselves in a more favourable position with our peers. We could learn new skills which entitle us to a higher salary or even the ability to work in a different department, we could show potential to warrant a promotion. Ultimately, we get exposure to new things and are able to change up our routine and get creative which is the best thing. 


 Open up a conversation with someone you wouldn't normally


If like myself the idea of opening a conversation with someone you don't know is enough to send you over the edge with anxiety then this one is for you. Everyday i want you to start a conversation with someone new. It doesn't have to be face to face at first.... reach out to an old friend online or someone you follow on twitter with similar interests. Then you can move on to the people around you, maybe a new colleague or one you haven't really spoken to much. Have a chat with the person waiting for the train with the shoes on that you love, or someone in the gym doing an exercise you haven't seen before but want to try. I think that people need to be more sociable with each other these days and it can start with you. 



Take a class which interests you 


Whether you have always wanted to learn how to dance, how to play an instrument or learn a language but have always been too scared or nervous to start. Now is your chance, now is the time to put down the excuse book and think, Fuck this, i am going to do this and i am going to succeed and i am going to try my hardest. So what if i am no good at it at first? Any skill takes practice and no professional dancer, pianist or multilingual person was born that way; instead they practiced everyday for their craft and to achieve what they have achieved and you can to! 

P.S: my own goal for this one is to finally take up dance classes which i have been wanting to do for the last 6 years but have always been too scared as i was laughed at frequently when i was learning to dance in high school. However, this year i am biting the bullet and i am going to give it a go and see where it takes me!


Each day write down one thing which scares you and conquer that fear

Start your day off right. Every morning write down one thing that scares you or that you wish you could do, then set about the rest of your day with your aim being to accomplish that goal. For example, my goal one day might be to ask a PT for help in creating a gym plan and then i would go to the gym that evening with my aim being to find time to talk to a PT while i'm there. Writing it down makes you accountable and there is nothing better than crossing off that task at the end of the day knowing that you did it.

Become clear at what is stopping you


What is stopping you from doing things? Is it anxiety? Is it the fear of rejection? Is it the fear of failure? Is it the fear of being ignored? Is it the fear of not being good enough?

Find what it is that stops you from doing things so that you can then address and make plans to conquer it. 



Own up to your excuses

Too tired? Suddenly busy? Too expensive? Overslept? Find your excuses for not trying something. Mine always used to be that things were too expensive or i was too tired to get out of bed early to go to that class or attend that event. However, they are all just excuses and are your way of justifying why you are not going to do something and in the long run it is going to hinder you stepping out of your comfort zone massively. We need to become accountable of our own excuses and work our way around them. If we know we tend to oversleep, set your alarm an hour earlier than you normally would so you have no excuse not to go to the class. it's simple but effective...

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable


Once you start throwing yourself out of your comfort zone, you will start to feel anxious or nervous or scared at first. It is our normal response to doing something that is uncomfortable to you. You need to start becoming comfortable with these feelings, you need to accept that in order for these experiences to become comfortable and normal for you, you first need to pass through the rocky stage. Trust me, it gets better. 


Fill your reading pile with self-help books


Replace your chick flicks and 50 shades of grey books with titles like, the secret, 12 rules for life, how to be a badass and the power of now. Knowledge is power and in order to learn more about yourself and grow as a person you first need to discover how to learn about yourself and tips that can help you through any aspect of life. Self-help books are amazing at overhauling your life, learning about and overcoming anxiety and depression and are extremely motivating. They are also a hell of a lot cheaper than a therapist so theres that too!!

Find a role model who has achieved what you want to achieve
This is a bit of a weird one but for me i find it easy having people around me who have achieved amazing things similar to what i want to achieve. This helps make you realise that your goals are achievable and they are not impossible. It also makes you more accountable with the steps that you take in achieving your goal and you can always take inspiration from those who have already achieved them.


Get creative
Start drawing, painting, collaging, anything that gets your creative juices flowing for an hour a week. While this one isn't as obvious you are still able to push yourself to try things you haven't done before but the important thing here is it is extremely relaxing to sit down with a sketchpad for an hour and let loose. So give it a go... even if it's just a mindfulness colouring book i am sure that you will feel the difference after a few weeks in your ability to relax and be calmer. 

Change up your daily routine


Start showering in the morning instead of the evening to wake yourself up and be better prepared for your day, get all of your most important work done in the morning so the evenings can be spent on personal development/ family time, wake up before the birds (5/6am) so that you can get a head start, start taking 20 minutes out of your day to meditate or journal or stretch.

These are just a few ideas of the way you can switch up your daily routine to become more productive and better prepared to reach for your goals. It is a lot easier to step out of your comfort zone when you have time in the evenings to attend classes because all of your important work was done in the morning!

Hang out with people more successful than you are


A bit of a weird one but i for one truly believe that your energy is determined by the company you keep and we all aim for positive energy in our lives yet we all seem to hold on to negative people that bring us down. In 2019 we need to cut those ties and move on. Now when i mention successful above, please don't think i only mean successful in the money and status sense, i also mean successful in love, family, friendships, hobbies, passion and all other forms of success. Whether your friendship group is filled with stay at home mums, CEO's, dancers, performers or entrepreneurs. They are ALL successful in different ways and can add inspiration to your life and the fears you are trying to overcome.  

Once a month start a new hobby
The best way to throw yourself out of your comfort zone is to start something that you haven't ever done before. So starting a new hobby will be a good opportunity for you to meet new people, learn something new and of course become uncomfortable with what you are doing. For myself i am going to be starting a new hobby each month to really throw myself into different situations and to learn new things and by december i will have acquired new skills and hopefully some hobbies i will want to keep going. 







Bex 

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2 comments

  1. My favorite piece of this is the advice to hang out with those who are more successful than you. I am a firm believer that you should not be the smartest person in your circle. If you are, expand that circle! 2019 is my "uncomfortable" year too as I am pushing myself like never before and walking away from complacent success. Thanks for sharing! xoxo Lani!

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  2. These are some useful tips! I also want to make 2019 my “uncomfortable” year. I feel I have hit a wall and been stuck in the same place for years. This is partly to do with my illness leaving me pretty much housebound most of the time.

    Great post!

    Jess xxx || http://littlepinkduckblog.blogspot.co.uk

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